you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
