HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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