Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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