Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
