she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Randomize
