Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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