break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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