I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
