I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
3 2 1 whiskey
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
