Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
