"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
