he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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