yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
