I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
