Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
