Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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