I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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