I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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