you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
