i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
