so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
