I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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