i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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