wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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