The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
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i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
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You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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