i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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