Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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