I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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