I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
