You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.