I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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