How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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