they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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