i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
the raccoons are back...
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