What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
