...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
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We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
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I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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