so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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