Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
