Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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