just come out here and I will go home with you...
Small penises have feelings too.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
