is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
