If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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