susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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