when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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