So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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