I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
