..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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