Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize