it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
