the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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