The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I won't apologize to a one balled man
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize