Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
