I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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