Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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