Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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