I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
