I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
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That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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