I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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