There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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