Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
How's work?
Spinning.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
