carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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