yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
