so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
